All Crossed Up
by KIRAJUDGESYOU
Summary: What happens when Naruto and Sai are thrown into a world of love,hate and lemons with numerous characters from numerous anime/manga.
1. The white room

**If I owned any of the characters in this then they would all have big swords. This is a Naruto fanfic because it is Naru-centric, just with loads of other anime mixed in.**

Naruto and Sai were heading back to Konoha when they encountered an old man with a rag around his eyes. He was lying on the floor, beaten and bruised. When he heard footsteps he started to shuffle around, and said

" Please, help me, I need to get to Konoha!".

Sai and Naruto looked at each other.

"We should help him, Sai. He looks pretty beat up. We could at least take him to the nearest town."

"He is just going to be extra baggage, and it is not part of the mission to help him. Lets leave him."

"FOOL! YOU WOULD SEEK TO LEAVE AN OLD MAN TO DIE? BEGONE!"

The man stood up, releasing his genjustu. He formed some hand seals which created a portal. The man shoved Naruto and Sai through the portal. Naruto shouted at Sai for being such a jerk-ass and getting them thrown in a portal. Sai just kept on his his emotionless face, and started drawing the inside of the portal. When they came out they found themselves in a whte room. Arround them were several people they didn't recognise. Souchiro, a blonde kid, with a black cloak, spoke first.

"Don't tell me you didn't help the old man?"

Naruto punched Sai and said "nice going TEME! Now we're stuck with people who are probably gonna kill us because YOU wouldn't help him!"

Several people sighed, and a 20 year old in a suit stood up and said

"No, we're here because we didn't help him either. In fact, I tried to kill him with my book... Anyway, My names light, and squeezing the life out of my arm is my girl, Misa. Everbody else will tell you who they are once they decide to. Most of them are slightly... challenged."

Next a 17 year old stood up. "I'm Squall. I'm here because I wouldn't speak so the man presumed I was ignoring him. I wield a gun-blade and prefer not to talk."

"My name is L, and I would like to know if you have anything sugary on you. I am a genius detective and since coming here have discovered that Light is a mass-murderer. I would also like some eye surgery, if you can do it. Mine are too big."

"My name is Souchirou. Chances are, I'm stronger than you. Fight me! I will use my jujitsu to destroy you!"

Naruto chuckled. " Jyuuken? I beat a guy who could use Jyuuken so well that he managed to hit me 64 times in a few seconds! Whatever you do can't be better than that!"

"KRRRR! FIGHT ME!"

"Fine, but what the hell is up with your hair, you look like a 10 year old girl I know!"

Souchirou threw off his cloak and charged at Naruto. Naruto used the replacement tech and watched in amusement as Souchirou was about to punch a log when the log shattered even though Souchirou's arm had stopped short of it. Naruto made a shadow clone and tried sexy no jutsu. This had a devastating affect on the surrounding men. Light simply chuckled, but continued to look, L's eyes went wider, and almost fell out, and a couple of other people who hadn't introduced themselves either nose-bled or stared. Souchirou was cowering against the wall. He was friggin' terrified of this naked, curvy blonde.

"OKAY! I give up!"

"NOOOO! Stay that way while I take a picture!"

"Shut up, Yoshitaka. You're worse then most men, and you're barely 14."

Yoshtaka sighed, and went back to looking at ladies on the internet. When Sai piped up:

"It says in my book to introduce myself. My name is Sai. Pleased to meet you, Souchirou, Squall, Light, L, Misa and Yoshtaka."

"Oh yeah! I'm Naruto! I like orange, and am one of the strongest ninja I know! I also wear this headband to show that I am a Konahogakure ninja, and I love Ramen. I can use these things called jutsu, be it Taijutsu, which is hand to hand combat, Ninjutsu, which is like magical powers, and my worst, Genjutsu, Illusion techniques. Sai here can also make his drawings come alive. Oh, and if I get pissed off and have a red Aura then try to subdue me ASAP! Or I might end up killing everyone."

"Um... Wow."

"Since everyone else has introduced themselves, I guess it's my turn. My name is Husky, and I can turn into a merman type thing. This is my friend Senri, Who can make his left arm turn into a bears, but with metal claws. He can't remember faces so he needs to press flowers or something to remember people."

**YAY! Fic number two! I decided against putting this in crossovers as it is a cross over of many stuff. Probable lemons later on! Send in your requests! Any anime you like, any pairing you like, but no yaoi and no naruhina. Also, anyone have any ideas? If so send them in and I may use your ideas. Recently, giving control to other people is quite popular, as in video games where we more and more frequently get to design a protagonist, or even choose how the game plays out. I probably shouldn't keep all the random crap in my notes, but it makes people laugh, I hope.**


	2. A trip to the bathroom

**I don't own any of the characters in this chapter, they belong to the respective anime owners.**

"So, does anyone want to get out of this room in which Yusotaka has somehow managed to pull a PC out of nowhere?"

"Souchirou tried to for a while until he realized that he still had to master the technique of 'punching through the air'. Then we got Squall to shoot at the walls with his gunblade, and Senri tried punching through the walls with his claws, but nothings worked."

Sai looked as if he had an idea. "Is there a window?"

For the first time Misa spoke up: "Yeah! Misa found it while she was looking for a loo! It's behind Misa's pile of bags! Misa was doing shopping with Light-kun when she saw an old man, and Misa said that Light-kun should give him a peaceful death with his book, but the old man shouted at Misa-Misa and threw us in a portal!"

"Um, how high are we above ground level?" L got up and said

"Judging by the Light coming in from behind Misa's bag, I would say I have no-idea, go check."

"Hey you piss me off acting like a genius when you have no clue!"

"Shut up, Souchirou."

"Bob! You're with them!" and so Souchirou and Bob started to shout at each other, but not physically fighting, When Naruto asked Misa if she found a bathroom in the end, he was desperate.

**LEMON START**

**X**

**X**

**X**

Misa led Naruto to where he supposed was the bathroom, but they only came into another room, which was identical to the one they had just been in, except there was no-one in it. Naruto was about to ask where the toilet was when Misa grabbed the back of his head and pulled him in for a kiss. It wasn't Naruto's first kiss, as he had once secretly visited one of Jiraiya's favorite 'clubs'.

Misa licked his lips, begging for entry, but he pushed her away. "Sorry, but from what I can gather you have a boyfriend and he is likely to kill me in some way."

"I hate it. I love him so much but I get the feeling he doesn't truly love me back. I need to relieve myself, or I'm scared that I'll just explode. Please, take me!"

"Um, I think we just met, and this will be my first time, and I'm kinda saving myself..."

Misa reached down and felt his trousers. She was pleased to see that despite his words, he was hard. She started rubbing him slowly, and he couldn't help but emit a groan, but once again, backed away. "please, stop, I can't take it!"

Misa just smiled and kissed him again. This time he opened up, and their tongues locked. Naruto could feel her warm tongue explore his mouth, and he instinctively started to grope her firm, round ass. Misa loved the feel of his firm, strong hands stroking her butt, and she could practically see his muscles under his black shirt. He had taken off the orange sweater shortly after arriving, as it was getting quite hot. Eventually Misa pulled her tongue out of Naruto's mouth and started to pull down his trousers. Slowly she reached into his boxers and began to caress his dick. When she pulled it out and was surprised at how long it was. She hadn't really seen many dicks before, but she could tell it was bigger than average. She started to lower her head and slowly licked the tip of his penis, making him groan again. He started to reach around behind her and undo her bra-strap. He noticed that she had large, round boobs, and started to squeeze them, making her moan as well. The Misa started sucking his shaft, gradually going faster and deeper, until Naruto cried out and came into her throat. He recovered after a few seconds, and started to move his hand into her pants, rubbing her vagina, feeling how wet she was. Misa needed Naruto inside her. "Naruto-kun, put your dick in me!"

Naruto was starting to get caught up, and for possibly the first time in his life, felt like having sex for as long as he could, after experiencing his first orgasm, and so obliged to put his shaft into Misa.

It was the most intense experience of his life. He could feel her pussy dripping it's juices all over his dick. Nether Misa or Naruto could take it anymore, and they both came at the same time, mixing up in her heaving vagina.

**X**

**X**

**X**

**Lemon End**

L started to need the toilet too, and headed off in the direction Naruto and Misa went. When he came through to an empty room, and saw Naruto and Misa screwing each other, he just ate a sweet then did a fake cough. "L didn't think that Misa-Misa would sleep with a man just after meeting them. Is Misa not with Yagami-kun?"

Naruto and Misa pulled apart surprised, and among other things, scared shitless. "This wasn't my fault! She came onto me! Oh it's you L, not Light. BUT STILL!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Misa didn't know what came over her!"

Naruto practically teleported to his clothes and put them on, redder than Sasuke's favorite food.

"ohgodohgodohgodohhhgod..."

L simply walked out of the room with a bemused expression on his face. Naruto prayed to Kami that he was going to keep this secret. Misa watched as Naruto left the room and knew that though she was in love with a man, she felt extremely attracted to another. Life was like a death race. Either way, you lose. Misa slowly got up and followed Naruto into the main room. When she got there she checked Lights expression to see if he knew. He didn't, until he noticed that Naruto had left his orange sweater behind and Misa Had put her leather pants on the wrong way round. As if a genius evil mass-murderer detective wasn't going to figure out what had happened. When Misa came to sit next to him, and grabbed his arm he pulled her off and started writing in his book. Misa tried to stop him, but it was too late, he had written down Amane Misa and Uzumaki Naruto. "Tommorow, Naruto-san, You are going to die a slow and painful death, by slowly being crushed by a section of the roof, which collapses, giving everyone else a way out. You, Misa, will have a fatal heart attack, which drags out for about a minute. You two will suffer for ever having crossed the god of the new world, KIRA!"

At this point, Bob stood up and gave Light the hardest kick he had given anyone since the bowling alley incident. Light smashed into Souchiro from behind, causing him to punch Light in the other direction as hard as he could. Light smashed into the wall, with a sickening crunch, and he screamed out, when Misa screamed. "STOP!" and slumped down, crying. Why did her desires lead her to cheat on Light. Why had she risked the man she loved for about 30 minutes of pleasure? She wished she had just left the black book alone, she wished she had never been watched by a depressed shinigami, she wished that on a certain night, the mugger had killed her. She sobbed for the remainder of the day, with not even the loudmouths saying anything much, apart from L, but the one thing he didn't know was tact, and his random percentages helped ease her mind somehow. Light didn't get up from the floor where he lay, and Squall checked for a pulse, but no-one asked if he was alive.

**Chapter two is up and running, and it looks like Naruto and Misa are doomed to death the next day. Also, yes, Light is dead! I have nothing against Light, but he isn't exactly the most interesting character, Though he will be in the fanfic later, though not in the way you may expect. Send in your Lemons requests, any anime, any character, except for the anime/manga I've already done. _At_ _most_, I will have one more Naruto character get into the story somehow. Love it please review. This is my first 'pervy' fic, so suggestions for improvement would be accepted. Also, note that Naruto is a a first timer, so he isn't gonna be a god in bed the first few times, is he?**


	3. Ichigo the Justicebringer

**I don't own any of the characters featured in this fanfiction. Thanks for the review, BLACK-OP 1, Sai will be getting some lemons, next chap or the chap after, as I need him to actually have a relationship with the girl before he screws, her, as that isn't her personality.**

Time was ticking on at the corner of Yusotaka's computer. It was 11:45. 15 minutes until Naruto and Misa's scheduled deaths. No-one had really said anything, except L, who seemed to be unable to stop making accurate assumptions about everyone in the room.

11:50

…

…

11:55

…

…

Misa stopped sobbing and started to clutch at her heart. Naruto just looked up, waitng for the wall to fall on him. He was going to try to get out of death somehow. Misa was still having a heart attack, with everyone gathered around her, clearly in agony.

"I am- AAAAGGGHHH- gonna go- don't- AAARRRGH! Follow..."

She started to stand up, with L's support. Once up, she stumbled again, then walked into the other room. Trying their best to ignore her pain, they turned their attention to Naruto. Ten minutes had passed without Naruto dying, when L just said what seemed glaringly obvious.

"As we – no – I know, the Shinigami and my humans are from different worlds. It seems most of us are from different worlds. Shinigami cannot kill each-other using the death note. Naruto is from a different world, and so maybe he can't die because of that?"

This seemed plausible to the others, so they just nodded, excruciatingly aware that there was a dead body next door.

Sai decided to get on with trying to get out the room.

"Remember Misa said there was a window behind her bags? I could draw a bird and fly us out."

"L doesn't even recall anyone checking if we were high up. We could be on ground floor."

Nobody got up, so in the end they waited until the bags fell over and looked. Lazy buggers.

"Fuck."

"Hn."

They were on the second floor, and could easily jump down from the window. Which was open.  
Squall hopped out first, like a bad-ass. L jumped out after, than Naruto made a ladder of clones and everyone climbed down using them, earning a few cries of pain when the pulled his hair or stepped on his nose. Finally everyone was out, and they looked around. It just appeared to L, Bob and Souchirou to be a normal city. To Naruto and Sai it was a gray boring city. To Husky and Senri it looked like a the biggest city ever. To Yusotaka it was a slum. All in all, it was Lolanka, a city in the middle of Lacoltel, in the Crossiverse. They decided to find the nearest bar and ask about where they were. The first bar they saw was called The Floating Stone. Inside it was loud, smelled of ash, and dark. Apart from Bob and Souchirou, none of them had been to a bar like this. They all walked up to the counter and L asked where they were. The bartender looked grumpy and told the 'foreign bastards with stupid orange clothes' to go look at a map. A young man just laughed at the bartender, and told the Crossed Up Gang that they were in Lolanka. They seemed fine with this, except for Sai. "Now why don't you go buy a dick?"

The bar went silent. The young man stood up. "Do you know who I am? By the way, you got gay clothes on, and I don't hold back for gays."

"Are you mr. NoMcDick?"

"AAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH! My name is Zac Efron! Don't forget that!"

Sai drew his sword, and lopped the mans arms off. He collapsed to the ground spewing blood everywhere. The Crossed Up Gang were speechless. Sai just lopped off some guys arms.

"Say, Bob, doesn't Zac Efron sound familiar?"

"Wasn't he that fag from HSM? I can't believe Chiaki got me to watch that. I had to sand my eyes and do counseling."

"So you just killed some famous guy. We should go before someone else gets us."

As Naruto spoke a group of 20 fangirls knocked down the wall and started screaming about the dead bloke on the floor. About 17 of the fangirls died, while the rest rolled up there sleeves, screeching their battle cry.

"FOR ZAC EFROOOOOOOOOON! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

5 minutes later Sai was in critical condition, and the others had gone deaf from the screechy girls.

The next day L had managed to use the £400 he had in his pocket to get them into a hotel which gave free room service. Sai started to get a bit peckish so he sent for room service. The girl who came up was about 18. Sai saw his chance to score.

"Stop looking at me like you wanna fuck me. Just cause I'm room service doesn't make a prozzy."

"You know you want me."

"Yeah I do."

She crawled up to him on his bed and was about to kiss him when she punched him as hard as she could, and said something about sex abusers.

Sai didn't call room service again. Instead he examined the phone, and how pressing a button had allowed him to speak to room service. He supposed it was something to do with using chakra to sense sound when the correct button is pressed.

L, meanwhile had also called room service, and ended up having a threesome with some twins. He'd always been a player, but for some reason they kept asking him if he would be willing to let them watch him have gay romps. This was new to L, so to be safe he said no. The disappointed expressions resembled that of a puppy.

The next day Sai decided to get laid, when suddenly, a couple of fairies flew in front of him, creating a yellow shield. Next thing he knew there was a ginger guy waving a massive sword at him.

When he spoke he sounded kinda bored. "I'm Kurosaki Ichigo, stop in the name of whoever my superior is blah blah blah. I'm gonna take you to The nearest hq to put you in prison for something..."

"It's okay, I'm a ninja."

Ichigo looked him over properly for the first time. "You look like a gay."

"At least I have a dick."

"Yeah whatever, come with me."

Sai didn't like this. He had just had a weird yellow shield projected in front of him, and now some dickless punk comes along with a sword many time the size of his penis, and tells him he is under arrest? Who did he think he was? The Uchiha police corps.? Ichigo sighed, and took out his sword. What chance would a gay skinny bloke have against a god of death?

"My sword is bigger than yours, so I advise you to stand down..."

"I keep telling you, it's okay, I'm a ninja!"

Ichigo couldn't take it anymore, so shunpoed behind Sai and bought his Zanpakuto down. Sai dodged and scribbled a couple of dragons. Making the appropriate seal the dragons burst into life. The were roughly the size of a 12 year old, but still dragons, and dive-bombed towards Ichigo, clawing at him.

"BANKAI!"

The two dragons were cleaved in half by a black sword. Ichigo moved behind Sai again, this time twice as fast, but got hit in the back with a shuriken. Almost immediately a brown haired girl jumped in and pulled it out, making a small yellow bubble over the wound. It healed within seconds. The girl, Orihime, jumped back again, as she was a support, not offensive. Ichigo looked around to see where the shuriken had come from and saw what appeared to be identical twins with orange jumpsuits. Ichigo sighed. Nothing to do with him was ever normal. Crazy ass dad, substitute god of death, could see ghosts, and now this. Ichigo lashed out at Sai again, who had bought his katana down in a swerving arc. Ichigo only just blocked it, so he took a step back and shouted, brining his sword down.

"GETSUGA TENSHOU!"

a massive wave of blue light smashed into Sai, cutting him up badly. Sai thought he was dealing with a shinobi, possibly of the Inuzuka clan, as he had used a getsuga attack. The last thing Sai saw was a yellow bubble and Naruto's face. His whiskers were more pronounced, and his eyes had gone fiery, as well as the pupls stretching. Sai also noticed his canines had grown, resembling Kiba.

Next thing Sai knew, he was in a cell, with Naruto in the top bunk. Naruto seemed to be either sleeping or out cold. Sai didn't care. He reached for his katana, but it had been confiscated, so he looked around for his sketch pad. Also gone, they must have realized his powers. Sai didn't really know many jutsu strong enough to get him out, he wasn't a tank he was an assassin. When Naruto woke up he could bust them out. Sai lay back on his bunk, trying to figure out a way to escape.

Meanwhile L was reading the local paper. When he got to page 3 he almost choked up his tea. Naruto and Sai were in the paper.

**Pair assault loved celebrity than assault enforcer**

**Yesterday a pair of odd looking self proclaimed ninjas killed the celebrity we know and love as Zac Efron. According to reports **they were at The Floating Stone pub, when unprovoked the two attacked him brutally. They killed twenty fangirls as well, which made the enforcers consider letting him go, because everyone hates fangirls, except the recipient of their adoration. Enforcers decided against freeing them, though, as the the head enforcer was a massive fan of HSM.

**Turn the page to read more...**

L shook his head, and turned to the jobs page, before circling detective, for himself and wrestler, for Bob, Souchirou and Senri. He also circled the swimming, for Husky. He figured he could pick something for the others later.

Back in the cell, Naruto had woken up, but he couldn't do the rasengan, as the hunger was disrupting his chakra control. They had been in the cell for about two hours, and no-one had come to see them. Naruto was just about to try to punch the bars open when he heard footsteps coming from down the hall. The brown haired girl from before had come, followed by the ginger dude. Sai and Naruto took on battle stances, as they weren't sure what law was like in this universe.

"Relax, we're not gonna kill you. We've actually come to bust you out, because I want a rematch, and also because Inoue feels like you're not bad people."

The girl, Inoue Orihime, sent one of those fairy things between the bars, and he made a yellow disk, slashing the bars open. Naruto and Sai stepped out, and ran. They had seen firsthand what the guy had done to Sai, and didn't want do do that again. The guy chased them, shouting, occasionally sending a massive blue wave down the hall to get them, bringing the cells down around them. Naruto sighed. Something told him that this world wasn't going to be as easy as the Naru-verse.

**That's the end of that chapter, I know it's been a while but juggling this, school and other stuff isn't easy,. I've noticed that one of my faults is short chapters, but I will be working on that.**


End file.
